The R word

We are not allowed to mention the R word in our house. I thought the R word was ruff, as that is the only r word I can say, and I was a bit worried because if I could not say ruff, I would only be left with woof, and a few throat grumbles, leaving me with quite a limited vocabulary. Anyway it turns out that the r word is not ruff after all. It is renovations. Oops, I accidentally said the word. We are not allowed to say that word or talk about you know what in any way. It is Sarah who has decided this, and as you know, she is very bossy so we have to do as we are told. She says she does not want to talk about tiles, or door handles, or silent close draws or which types of taps or light fittings to get AT ALL anymore. This is a bit difficult because Syd does like to talk all day and all night about these things,and even on holiday he wants to talk about them. He likes to talk about them more than FOOTBALL, and when he is not talking about them, he is looking them up on his computer.

The S's have each got a special computer called iPad which can tell you anything you need to know, like which are the best taps, a recipe for marmalade cake, where all the dog beaches are, and the most important of all; football scores. Also, if one S doesn't want to talk to the other S, then the S's can talk to each other via iPad. Once they were sitting next to each other on the sofa writing questions on iPad to each other. I think this is a bit silly, but it is nice and peaceful for me if there is no talking or screeching from the S's when I am having one of my sleeps.

Syd even takes iPad to bed with him and he gets in trouble for this. Apparently it IS ok to take books to bed, but not iPad. I don't understand why it is ok for both S's to have a big Easter egg but not ok for Fozzie to have any Easter egg at all, even when one of the Easter eggs had FOZZIE clearly written on it? Who made up that rule?

I enjoyed Easter despite this, because we went to the country for 5 days to look for the Easter bunny and do an egg hunt. I didn't bother looking for eggs since dogs are not allowed any, so what is the point? I was also hoping to find the Easter rats. They have been visiting our house in the country and chewing things up in the garage. I can't WAIT to find them. I could smell a rat last time we went, and I got so excited my tail stood on end and I ripped up a box because I though maybe a rat was hiding there. He was not, but he had been there I just knew it.

We have had to go to the country a lot and we have had a few visitors. I like visitors to come as it's more fun than just having to look at the S's doing gardening. Jan and Oscar came to stay then Victoria came, because we have been staying at their houses quite a lot so we wanted to thank them for putting up with the S's, who can be quite troublesome, not like me who can be taken anywhere. The S's have been quite embarrassing to be honest, arguing about "r" things; it is boring for the rest of us listening to them! We had to go out of our house in Sydney after one S had a 'meltdown' about dust and no running water or kitchen or bathroom to use. I liked staying at Oscar's house because he never finishes his bones which means a lot of work for me going around and eating them all up for him. We had our own room for Fozzie and the S's, and Oscar even has his own park right outside his house. Brilliant!

Then me and "Meltdown S" stayed with Victoria whilst Syd escaped to London. Sensible of him. Victoria also has a park right outside her house, it was very handy. We had nice dinners at Victoria's and wine consumption went up a lot, I noticed. There was also a lot more screeching than normal (when you have two ladies together Syd says this is to be expected)and of course the usual moaning about dust and builders again. The really bad thing though was that I had to share a bed with Sarah and I didn't have enough room as I am quite a big dog these days. She said I was hogging the blankets but I was not. A dog needs his space when he is nearly 2, and he should not have to share a bed with his mum! I feel sorry for Syd because she snores too, don't tell her I told you.....