Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Well, you will not believe this. It is the most outrageous thing I have reported on my blog so far. This morning BODGER swiped me and made my nose bleed! It hurt A LOT. In case you've forgotten who this devil is, BODGER is my neighbour and he is a CAT. Usually he hangs out on the back fence, which is quite high, and he smirks at me, just out of reach whilst I am on my hind legs trying to get him.

Anyway, today I was coming back from my walk, going up my steps and I did not notice the furry fiend, who was sitting on his own steps, lying in wait. Sarah did not notice him either, she was too busy looking in the mail box. He launched an attack and took us both by surprise! I was totally shocked, especially when I realised I had blood running down my face. Sarah was 'shooing' BODGER but he kept on coming. He is one mean cat. I quickly recovered my composure, and tried to get him back. I did my loudest, scariest woofs (the neighbours were all staring) and tried to box him with my paws, but Sarah was dragging me by my lead and she made me go in the house. Typical woman. I know if Syd had been here he would have helped me put that evil cat in his place. He is far too big for his paws. All day I have been making a list of all the bad things I want to do to the Bodge. He had better watch it. No cat swipes Fozzie on his own porch and gets away with it. Here is my nose BEFORE it got swiped.

After the swiping, I got a bone from Sarah and some biscuits, whereas BODGER had to stay outside in the rain all day whilst his human Adam was at work. I think I would not really like to be a cat. As well as being evil and a fiend, detested by dogs and anyone reasonable, even your humans don't like you enough to allow you to stay in the house without supervision. You have to lurk in the street and sit under cars all day until they come home. You don't get bones, or to go for walks, and you don't get to ride in the car with your ears blowing in the wind. It is much better being a dog.

I reported the incident to Syd and he says we have to squirt water at BODGER next time we see him. That is OK, but a bit lame to be honest. There are plenty of better punishments we could do to him in my opinion. Angie Paws says we will definitely get BODGER and even suggested a good type of spray that we should use on him. These humans mean well, but I would like to make HIS nose bleed. I will get him with a nice right hook one of these days.

My nose is OK now, no thanks to HIM. I did give it a rub with my paw when Sarah came home tonight though, and I got a pig's ear for being brave. You have to know how to work these humans......especially the lady ones.

PS Syd has gone to Spain on a plane! It is a long way away.  He says it is a work trip, but I don't believe it; I saw him looking up football matches on his computer........I am disappointed that I had to stay behind with Sarah. I did sit very close to his suitcase whilst he was packing, as I thought maybe he would pack me too. In fact I took out a couple of pairs of his socks to make more room, but Sarah saw me and put them back again. She is on my blacklist.......... with BODGER. I have asked Syd to bring me back a pair of 'Doggles' from his trip. These are special goggles that dogs can wear, to protect their eyes from scratches, essential  for unarmed combat with fiends such as this one.......

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Bye Bye Carolyn

Wow. It has been ages since I wrote. There is a lot to catch up on. I have been sooooo busy I don't know where the time goes. By the time I've had my breakfast, had my walk, had my bone, had a snooze, eaten one of Syd's socks, taken a pair of Sarah's knickers out onto the porch to show them to the builders, had another snooze, had a pigs ear, attacked the S's when they come home, had another walk, had dinner, had a snooze, jumped on the bed, got kicked off the bed, done some grumbles and gone to sleep.... the day is over.

Anyway the first thing to tell you is that I have been sad because my nice lady who takes me for walks when the S's are at work won't take me out any more. No more Carolyn. I think maybe I have been a little bit too naughty and bouncy for her and that is why. I am not sure but I am sorry about all those times I dragged her down the street and jumped on her and ran away in the park. I have raided my piggy bank to get her a present; there was not much in there, just half a pig's ear and my holiday fund (I am saving up to go to the beach at Christmas). I hope I will see her around on my outings and will make sure I give her a great big kiss if I do. Sarah says it's not because I was bad that she won't come any more but because she's 'retiring'. I don't know what that really means but I hope I didn't cause it.

My new lady is Angie Paws. I think she is nice too but I have noticed that she writes what I have been up to in a little book and leaves it for the S's. I don't think this is a very good idea; they don't need to know everything I do. I will need to dispose of that book somehow...perhaps with my teeth. Sometimes I get a smiley face in my book - this means I have been good. Other times there are comments like 'very lively today' which I think is secret code for 'ran away again', or 'a little hyper' which means 'too bouncy'. Anyway I like Angie - I have new doggy friends now and I like to go in her car and stick my head out of the window.

Here are some pictures of me in the car (this is Syd's car though). Sometimes I like to sleep in the car, but other times, when we are going maybe a bit too fast round bendy bits - I like to hold on.