Well, you will not believe this. It is the most outrageous thing I have reported on my blog so far. This morning BODGER swiped me and made my nose bleed! It hurt A LOT. In case you've forgotten who this devil is, BODGER is my neighbour and he is a CAT. Usually he hangs out on the back fence, which is quite high, and he smirks at me, just out of reach whilst I am on my hind legs trying to get him.
Anyway, today I was coming back from my walk, going up my steps and I did not notice the furry fiend, who was sitting on his own steps, lying in wait. Sarah did not notice him either, she was too busy looking in the mail box. He launched an attack and took us both by surprise! I was totally shocked, especially when I realised I had blood running down my face. Sarah was 'shooing' BODGER but he kept on coming. He is one mean cat. I quickly recovered my composure, and tried to get him back. I did my loudest, scariest woofs (the neighbours were all staring) and tried to box him with my paws, but Sarah was dragging me by my lead and she made me go in the house. Typical woman. I know if Syd had been here he would have helped me put that evil cat in his place. He is far too big for his paws. All day I have been making a list of all the bad things I want to do to the Bodge. He had better watch it. No cat swipes Fozzie on his own porch and gets away with it. Here is my nose BEFORE it got swiped.
After the swiping, I got a bone from Sarah and some biscuits, whereas BODGER had to stay outside in the rain all day whilst his human Adam was at work. I think I would not really like to be a cat. As well as being evil and a fiend, detested by dogs and anyone reasonable, even your humans don't like you enough to allow you to stay in the house without supervision. You have to lurk in the street and sit under cars all day until they come home. You don't get bones, or to go for walks, and you don't get to ride in the car with your ears blowing in the wind. It is much better being a dog.
I reported the incident to Syd and he says we have to squirt water at BODGER next time we see him. That is OK, but a bit lame to be honest. There are plenty of better punishments we could do to him in my opinion. Angie Paws says we will definitely get BODGER and even suggested a good type of spray that we should use on him. These humans mean well, but I would like to make HIS nose bleed. I will get him with a nice right hook one of these days.
My nose is OK now, no thanks to HIM. I did give it a rub with my paw when Sarah came home tonight though, and I got a pig's ear for being brave. You have to know how to work these humans......especially the lady ones.