Sunday, June 9, 2013


Yes that's right. Fozzie has been sent back to school. The rumours were true and I have been having lessons, in 3 things. I liked the lady teacher she was very nice but she was very strict too. She had a lot of treats though so I paid quite close attention.
1. Not running away
Because I have done a few disappearing s in the park I now have to wear a very very long lead. This is so I can be reeled in if I wander too far or find something to eat. I am not very happy about this

2. Not barking at boys
Because I bark at random boys usually ones with scooters or skateboards or ones who run up suddenly behind me, I have to have lessons in getting used to this. I have to hang around the playground and try really hard not to woof. Even when 3 boys go past in a shopping trolley all shouting I have to NOT woof. I do not like boys they are noisy and stupid and I wish they would not come near me. But I am trying.

3. Not barking at people who walk past my porch
My teacher says I am too possessive about our front yard. This is true. Usually I have to be vigilant and guard it from invasions by Bodger, but I have extended this to barking at anyone who dares to go past our house. Especially if they are a boy or a cat. Or another dog. Or anyone really. Anyway in order to practice not doing this I must sit on the porch and stare at a treat for a long time then eat it. This is my favourite lesson. I could do it all day, so I think it will take a lot of practice to train me not to bark at all the passers by. Sarah had better get in a bulk order of my favourite treats! Haha!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013


Hello Everyone

I had to think long and hard about whether I should show you these pictures. As you can see, in most of them I am refusing to look at the camera.

You might remember that Syd went to Japan recently - on a 'work trip'. Well apart from singing karaoke until 4 o'clock in the morning, the other thing he did was to go shopping. And he found this pair of 'doggy dungarees' which he thought I might like. He probably thought that I might like them because he had been out singing karaoke till 4 o'clock in the morning and his brain was tired (no person of his age should  be out until that time really). It is undignified. Like these overalls. Syd was wrong.  I do not like them. Even if they do have a special hole for my tail. I am glad I don't live in Japan, if this is what dogs there have to put up with.

Last night Sarah thought it would be 'good fun' to put me in them and for us to wait for Syd to come home and surprise him. I was quite sleepy so I was not sure what was happening at first, I thought was getting a good backscratch and so there I was, lying on my mat with my eyes closed, thinking life was not so bad, and the next thing I knew, I was wearing a romper suit. With pockets. Well. You can see for yourselves how I looked. The next door neighbour who doesn't normally even talk to us, came out of his house especially to have a look, and  he laughed at me. He said I looked like one of the 'Hitler youth'.  Thank goodness Bodger was not on his porch to see me - I would have been the laughing stock of our street.

I waited for Syd and when he came home I gave him a very stern look. He did not seem to notice, and had to re-park the car several times because he was laughing so much. I am trying to rise above the S's and their childish behaviour, and retain some semblance of my doggy dignity. I am slightly concerned though, because Easter is coming this weekend, and there could be another opportunity for them to do another dress up. Rabbit ears or the like. You know the drill.

Well they had better not try it because this time I will be ready for them. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Where is Syd?

Here is a film of me at Kangaroo Valley in our dam after a LOT of rain. Note how I am on a lead. This is because they think I will run away and chase things. Well they are right.
Anyway I thought you would like to see me fetching a very big stick. I was looking through my photos and I was getting a bit sad because - Syd is not here.

Can somebody trim my eyebrows? I can't see.
Syd has been gone for a very long time. I have spent one week and one weekend with no Syd. It is making me a bit sad and I am thinking about him a lot. This is called moping. I have been sitting at the front door quite a lot waiting for him. But he doesn't come. I have also been sleeping in his place in the big bed upstairs (but don't tell him that).

 It is not the same without Syd. There is less food for a start because there is no cooking being done. Unacceptable. Sarah eats weird stuff when he is not here, like salad and other boring stuff that doesn't have to get cooked.
Sarah is sitting in MY place

I have been remembering some of the good times, that Syd and I have enjoyed. Dogs have good memories you know.

Here we are playing on the X Box. That is for men only.

I always need a snooze after I've beaten Syd at X box
We are just resting our eyes - we probably played X box before
Here we are having a sleep on the big chair ( I let him use it sometimes even though it clearly has my name on it).

Here we are making a BBQ. Well Syd makes the BBQ and I sit really close and sniff very hard. I refuse to wear an apron though, it's not manly.

I'll have mine medium rare please

We have swapped Sarah for someone nicer
This is me and Syd and Zoe, my favourite person to goose! And here I am with Syd enjoying a nice cold drink, this is what men like to do together. No talking. Just having a drink.
Get the beers in Dad
When are you coming home Dad? I heard that it is 'soon', but soon to me means in about 2 minutes. I am waiting for you and please don't listen to any 'tall tails' about my behaviour. I have really been a good dog and have bossed Sarah about quite well, just like you told me to.
I am the beardiest - No I am.

Monday, February 18, 2013


Pack leader - that's me on the left

Well. This will be a short entry. Sarah says she can hardly bear to think about what I did. Just when she thought I couldn't get any naughtier (after the running away and the garlic bread) I have surpassed myself.  I thought that was impressive but she says not. It is to do with eating things again. But things I REALLY shouldn't eat. Noone should eat this Sarah says. Syd has been informed and he says that we should not tell anyone about it because noone will talk to me any more or come near me. Well that's fine with me I hate people coming and patting me anyway. Unless they've got treats.

I'm very sorry (not really, hahah!)
It is so bad and revolting, according to her that we cannot write it down. I did have to have my teeth brushed when I got home, and she also washed my mouth with SOAP. I don't have my own toothbrush as usually I use bones for tooth cleaning, but this was a special occasion and as Syd is away she used his toothbrush. I saw her wrapping it up and putting it in the bin afterwards.

Yes, you should beware of me
So I think I had better just let you use your imagination as to what it was that I ate. I can't tell you why I did it. Sarah thinks I am being extra naughty because Syd is away and I am trying to be pack leader. Trying? I AM pack leader. I do what I like.

I never get enough sausages that is why I have to eat unmentionables

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Dog gone

Me not running away

Me and some bread that I am not allowed
I am in very BIG trouble. I was lost this week. I was out on a walk and I sort of got distracted and my nose told me to follow a really good smell so I did but I went so far that I couldn't be found which led to a PANIC. A lot of people were looking for me in the big park where I like to go, and I was spotted several times before I was found.  Yes we have seen a black and brown curly dog with his nose to the ground, people said.

Me on the trail of a good smell
When I was found I was not very pleased because I had made some new friends and I was just hanging out with them. I liked them because they were sharing their lunch with me. Well I didn't want to be rude and leave in the middle of a meal, and they had GARLIC BREAD which might be the best and tastiest snack ever invented. Anyway, once I was found the fun was over, there was no more garlic bread for me and I had to go home. Incidentally, in that same park I once found a film crew who had a special van where they were making my other favourite; bacon rolls, for the film people. Well I managed to eat 4 before I had to go home. It is just too good to be true when you find food AND people who hand it out. Workmen always share their sandwiches with me. You just have to sit patiently and look at them with you most serious face on, or head to the side pose and that usually scores you some sort of edible.

Everyone had been very worried about me whilst I was missing. I made international headlines and Syd even got a phonecall about it in London because his phone number is on my collar. So I think he is cross with me too. Sarah thought maybe I had been stolen because I am so handsome. Everyone agreed I was a very BAD and GREEDY dog. So now I am supposed to stay close and I heard a nasty rumour that a dog trainer is coming to our house to 'teach Fozzie the boundaries'. NO! I don't need any 'training'. Syd says I have to wear a GPS whatever that is. And Sarah says I have to wear a sign on my collar that says 'do not feed me'. There is NO WAY I am wearing a sign like that. I will eat it before anyone can read it.
What smell? I can't smell anything.

It was a bit smelly in our house after the garlic bread incident. Sarah opened all the windows and I had to sit in the yard till I stopped making bad smells. I didn't mind the smell actually, I went upstairs in the bedroom and did a really big bad smell just before bedtime! Haha! That will teach her to talk about dog trainers and boundaries......


This is me waiting to goose someone

This is me on a sofa I am not supposed to be on

We have just had a special visitor come to see us all the way from England. People are always coming over here to Australia from England because we have all the good weather and they have all the rubbish weather.

Here we are enjoying the good weather in Australia.

Anyway this lady was Zoe and I liked her. I especially liked goosing her with my nose because no matter how many times I did it, she was never expecting it! Goosing is a new hobby of mine. I am just the right height for it, and when your nose is long like mine it's just too tempting. The best is to wait until the victim has come out of the bathroom when they are half asleep then you sneak up and give a quick poke.  So much fun!  Also I liked going in her room and taking her things away when she was not looking.

Zoe in Sydney
NZ wine is the best but we will drink anything
Another lady came for one of the days and she was Julia. Zoe, Julia and Sarah have not seen each other all together in the same place for 15 years, since they went to University. That is a very long time ago, because they are very old. They were very excited to see each other and of course when ladies are excited they are screechy. Syd and I put up with it and didn't say much, as it's only once every 15 years they get together. But I could tell his ears were hurting a bit, like mine.
is it time to go home yet?

Sophisticated ladies
Apparently this is dancing
Here they are doing what old ladies like to do when they get together. No not knitting. Drinking. And dancing!! I am glad I didn't have to go, look how patient Syd is being.....

One beady eye on the door waiting for old people to come home
They stayed out very late, and I stayed at home and looked after the house. I don't like it when people get silly. I am not a party dog. I often slink off to my bed at the first sign of any festivities, like loud music, corks popping or ladies voices getting screechy and I don't come back till everyone has calmed down. Zoe has gone home now, but more visitors are coming soon. I think it's the old people. Visitors are OK but they sit about talking about jetlag too much and how much sleep they have had or haven't had.  Yawn.  Listening to that sends me right off to sleep.  

Friday, February 1, 2013


The S's had another holiday without Fozzie this year. I didn't care at all though because I had my own, much better Ringo's house! It was such a good holiday I didn't want to go home at the end. I had to eventually as the S's were getting lonely without me. Anyway more about that later. First I have to show you where the S's went.

Good to see there are some dogs in Greece

A Greek Feline
 Greece is a place with a lot of boats and food. All the photos I have seen of Greece have got food in them. That is fine, I am a big fan of food, but also there are some photos with CATS in them. Why anyone would go on holiday to the same place that CATS like to go on holiday, well I really don't know. Anyway the S's went off to Greece all grumpy and came back in a good mood. They said that Greece is relaxing - all that eating probably makes you relaxed; I know when I have finished a bone I always have to have a big sleep.

A lazy Greek Feline
If you interested to know, then there are several types of Fozzie sleep. There is 'collapsed in a heap sleep' like after walks and bones.

I don't mind sharing my chair with Syd

There is 'watchful waiting' when you have your head on your paws but really you are concentrating hard and listening for cats and postmen.  And also there is 'obstacle course style' which is where you stretch out as long as you can be, either in the hallway or in front of the door so that if you do nod off, no one can get past without you noticing.

This is Doga (it is yoga for dogs)

There is no chair or sofa that I am not allowed to sit on

Greek food and of course wine

As you can see, in Greece the S's met those VIPs again, sorry no, I mean OAPs.  The OAPs were going on another boat leaving from Athens.  They seem to do a lot of that. Apparently old people get a special pass so they can go on as many buses or cruise ships as they like. Unlike dogs who are not allowed on buses or ferries here in Sydney; unless their owners are disabled. I think the S's definitely meet that criteria. I did once get in a bus but he man said I had to get out. And I have been on a travelator which is a moving sort of a floor that won't let you go backwards, I did not like it at all. Nor did I like going in a lift; humans really do weird stuff don't  they!?

So here are the S's on their dog free holiday with the cats and the old people. Looks rubbish to me.

The other thing they do in Greece (after eating)  is dancing. Syd LOVES dancing. But he is not allowed to do it because of his knees. I don't really understand dancing, I would rather chase felines to get my exercise but anyway that's just me. Here is Syd thinking about doing dancing.
Will my knees hurt if I do dancing?

Thursday, January 31, 2013


One reason why we have been so busy this year is because of this. I was very confused about this to be honest.  I thought a Farmacy was where you had a lot of animals like non-fake sheep and hens, and when Syd said we were getting a Farmacy I was very excited. I thought he was going to be a Farmer and I was planning on being one of those dogs that chases, no, rounds up, sheep. But no, it seems that is a Farm and a Farmacy are not the same. A Farmacy is much less interesting for dogs, but that is what we have.

Here is Syd in his Farmer's outfit. He puts this on and people have to listen to his advice (apart from Sarah). He has worked very hard in this white jacket. We have never seen him work this hard. Every Saturday he had to go there and organize all the medicines and toilet paper. Once I went to help but I got fed up after about 10 minutes and went to sleep under the counter. Sarah has helped a bit by making a cake. Why that was helpful I am not sure. But I did help to eat it.

Country Business

Well at Christmas and afterwards we went to the country a lot. We go all the time now for the weekends. This is our routine. We go in the car and I sleep until we are nearly there but I always wake up at the end of our road when we are 3.5 km from our house and I go 'on duty'. When you are 'on duty' you switch your eyes onto 'beady' (not beardy, though Syd and I are both quite beardy) mode and you do a low sort of noise in your throat, and you stare very hard out of the windows. You are looking for creatures. If you see a creature then the noise in your throat goes very loud and high and squealy and your legs go a bit like Scooby Doo's legs when he has seen a ghost and he is running on the spot, and you do this until you can't see the creature any more, because it ran away or Syd drove past it.

 These are the creatures I mean. There are Roos, there are Echidnas and there are WOMBATS who only come at night so I don't have a photo of them.

 They all live near our house and they go in MY garden when I am not there. That makes me so mad, hence the squealing and beadiness. Once the S's let you out of the car, whilst they are unpacking you run round as fast as you can and you sniff very hard where all the creatures have been and you bark a lot, just to let them know that you are back and that it is NOT ALLOWED for them to come in your garden. It is not really very restful for me in the country actually. As well as being on duty, I have to bark at Tractor, swim for sticks and also have a lot of baths. I have reported previously on how I am not at all keen on baths, but no one seems to have been paying attention.

We have 24 ducks living on our pond now. I have counted them. When I am not barking at wombats, or Tractor, I am barking at ducks. It is a full time job. The neighbours have also got creatures. Look at this. One day I stared all day at this and it never moved. You know why? It's a 'fake sheep'. Seriously. Those neighbours also have none-fake hens. I stare at them too. Sarah says we are getting our own non-fake hens and I am quite excited about that, though I am playing it cool because if the S's think I am too excited at the prospect of eating hens, no sorry I meant to say; eating eggs, they may change their minds.

We made a special veggie patch also which I am not allowed in because I have been seen helping myself to carrots. Gardening is boring, I leave that to Sarah, but digging up food is the good and fun bit. Syd is also not allowed very much in the veggie patch ever since he pulled out the tomato plants as he thought they were weeds. I weed in there once when I was helping myself to a carrot. Yet one more thing on the 'not allowed' list. It is quite long that list.

Sometimes our friends come and stay. Here is Victoria my best
lady friend; when she came we went to the village show. It was very hot but they had cold beer (and water for dogs). They had none-fake sheep too. Look what this man was doing to this poor sheep. Actually it looked like torture but afterwards that sheep told me he was much cooler and happier. Sarah spent ages looking at home made jam (nothing is more boring than that) and was threatening to put her home made things in next year's show. I didn't say anything but I don't think she will be winning many prizes. See for yourself.

she should have stopped at the scarf
I will be regifting this back to Syd for his birthday
Hat. (Syd only wore it in the house, to be polite - then he gave it to ME even though I did not want it).
Jam. (I refused to have it on my toast).
Drink that makes you go silly. (not for dogs)
Carrots! (OK they tasted alright but seriously?)

Apparently this is a carrot

this looks homemade - I would not touch it.