Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Easter holidays

We had a new holiday recently - it was called Easter. I don't really understand this holiday. It is all about chocolate, but neither Syd or I are allowed to have any chocolate so I don't see the point of it. I am not allowed because 'it is bad for dogs'. And Syd is not allowed chocolate because..... Sarah says so. That's not a good reason is it?  Syd does have chocolate though and he tells Sarah to shut up about it, which I think is good! SHE had chocolate (and wine, as usual).

Anyway, I think that Easter is quite a rubbish holiday. Syd said there would be rabbits but there were NO RABBITS. Christmas was much better. Soon there will be some more holidays coming up like Anzac day. This is a special holiday in Australia to do with biscuits so that sounds a bit better. (Although this biscuit looks like one that Sarah might have made.....).
Then there is the Queen's birthday. Even though there is no Queen here, in Australia we have a special party for her. That's nice of us isn't it? I hope the Queen enjoys this year's party more than last year's.....

Anyway, all holidays in Australia = barbeques which = sausages which = good.
My most interesting news, apart from holidays, is that I am learning to swim. I did a lot of learning to swim at Easter. To learn to swim I have to go paddling quite often in the harbour. I love it in the harbour. It STINKS!  Especially on hot days. It smells really bad! There are dead fish floating around and old bits of rubbish, and also other dogs doing swimming. I have not done swimming properly yet; apart from once when Syd pushed me in too far. I had no choice then  - I had to do swimming with my head under water  and my eyes shut, and after I got out I did not speak to Syd for a long time. Sarah did not speak to him either.

I am thinking about doing swimming. Each time I go in just a little bit deeper. I go right up to my neck to fetch sticks, but I like to keep my paws touching the bottom. Now, when we go to the water in the evenings, it is very exciting because it is going dark a bit earlier and this means that RATS come out. I love rats.

Down by the water there are a lot of holes where rats live. I am a terrier and this means I like to 'terriorise' rats. When I get a whiff of rat I can't help myself; I put my nose in their holes where they live and blow really hard to see if they'll come out.  It's a good job I have a long nose, I can stick it in really deep. They don't usually come out but I am always watching and waiting. One day I'll get one........

Oh yes - Sarah says I have a new 'alter ego'. It is 'Tigger'. He has a long nose and he bounces. I cannot see any resemblance at all. Although sometimes, I do bounce.

Me (not bouncing):

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Surprise - but not a good one

This week Sarah said I was getting a surprise. She said I was very lucky and it would be fun. All week, I wondered what it could be. Then yesterday, it came. I was very excited all day- I was waiting at the gate with my paws up on the fence looking to see what it was. A car came and parked outside, with a van on the back. I thought perhaps it was one of those ice-cream vans that come around with frozen treats for humans, and I wagged my tail, but it wasn't playing any music. Jack from across the road tried to tell the lady not to park outside his house (noone is allowed to park there) but Sarah told him it was OK, it was a special visitor for me. I was very puzzled - what was happening?

Next, a lady got out and came to the door. She asked Sarah if she could plug in her electricity. This was very strange. I wondered what was happening. THEN the lady took me out to the van and we got in the back and - horrors - I realised what the suprise was. IT WAS A BATH. I was so surprised I forgot to run away - before I knew it, it was too late. I was inside the bath with the door shut, and the water was running.

Sarah was standing outside the van looking at me, and pointing the camera. You can see the surprise on my face can't you? I was thinking: Could it really be possible that they were giving me a bath, in the street, in front of all the neighbours AND BODGER? I tried to go to my 'special place' in my mind, where there are plently of sausages and bones, so I could ignore what was going on, but it wasn't possible.

I got soaped and rinsed and conditioned. And the lady got out a big hoover and I blew air all over me so I went fluffy. Lastly, I got sprayed with COLOGNE. What is THAT?? I smelled like Syd. And I got my claws cut - this was really the final straw. Whilst I was having my claws cut the lady PUT A BAG ON MY NOSE.

A puppy from down the street came to investigate - I did some dog signals to say 'STAY AWAY, THEY'LL GET YOU NEXT!' but he came anyway. They didn't bath him though, he obviously had a nicer, kinder human than Sarah.

The only good bit was that the lady gave me a free bag of treats at the end of the ordeal. Worst bit was that I heard Sarah say she'd definitely get her to come back another day and do it again!! I'm going to make sure I'm OUT next time that lady comes.

Here is a clip to show you what they did - you can even hear Sarah's evil laughter. Feel free to send it on to anyone you think might like to come and arrest her for doing this to me.....

The Park

I love the park. Well, I like to RUN AWAY in the park! My tactic is: nose to ground, ears forward and just keep moving. Doesn't matter what they say, how loud they shout, I go into the 'zone' which I told you about, and I'm off.

I have fun tormenting the S's. We go to a park that has a steep cliff at the end, and I like to stand really really close to the edge, peering over as though I'm just about to jump. That gets the S's sweating and shouting. Very funny! Another thing I like to do is, when I see a baby or a small person like Tayla wobbling round (they can't walk properly those little people) I run up as fast as I can to them, and pretend I am not going to stop. That makes Sarah run really fast! Once I licked a baby's toes to see what they tasted like (not much).

I also like to drink out of the tap in the park. I wait with my tongue out until Sarah turns it on for me, and get cross if anyone else wants to drink from my tap.

The other thing I like to do is 'rumble'.  Rumbling means jumping on your friends and fighting with them, until they submit. Here is me rumbling with Shorty the labrador.

After I've had fun in the park, usually I refuse to go home. I like it in the park, there are great smells and things to find. Once I found a dried-out, flat rat (which I carried for ages because Sarah thought it was a stick) and a bird (which I ate, as Syd was too slow to get it off me.) And once I found a pile of clothes just lying there waiting to be taken, including a lady's BRA! Why would I want to go home when I can find things in the park all day? So I just lie on my side in the grass when it's time to leave; as though I might be dead, or having a sleep, and I go into the 'zone' again.

Oh yes and sometimes I just abandon the S's, and join another, more interesting family. They might have a dog that I want to play with. Or maybe they are just having a picnic that they'd like me to join. The best picnics have sausages. And once when I joined a picnic for a little girl's birthday - I put my face in her cake. She didn't see, but her mum did - I got told off for that.

Sometimes there are people lying in the grass, doing 'romancing'. I like to go and sit with those people too, and see what they're up to. I'm not fussy; I'll pretty much go with anyone, to avoid going home with the S's. Syd says I am 'a very embarassing dog'. I think he and Sarah are embarassing; standing there throwing balls, whilst I ignore them! Ha!

The best trick I played was when I ran away and went into the open air swimming pool. Dogs are not supposed to go in there. I didn't pay, I just ran straight through the turnstile, and did a little trot all round the edge of the pool, looking pleased with myself. Sarah couldn't even follow because she could not get through the turnstile so she just stood there looking cross and shouting 'Fozzie, come back here'. I did enjoy that. A man came along quite soon and said I had to go and Sarah said sorry to the man. (I didn't say sorry though because I wasn't.)