Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Brrrrrr today it was 2 degrees! That is VERY cold in Australian temperatures. I have been wearing my jumper all day - even to the park. Sarah is wearing 2 pairs of trousers, 3 jumpers, a scarf and ugg boots - and that's just in the house. She says houses are unacceptably cold here in Australia - there is no heating. It's true, it is warmer on the porch in the sun, than in the house. That is where I've been spending time. If I hang out on the porch long enough, sometimes Gordon next door gives me a pigs ear!
We have exciting news. We are going to be spending more time in the country. I have been told that I am getting my own wombat and maybe a kangaroo to play with. We went to the country a couple of months ago (when it was warm) and I had the best time. Well we're going to be going a lot more now and I will have a very big garden to play in. I think this will be very good. Here are some photos of where I will be spending my weekends. I am going to invite my friends to come and play with me. They had better bring their jumpers though, as it's even colder there. (ps that is not the actual house on the right, it's just a shed where Syd says he will sit to get away from Sarah, and maybe drink beer). This is the house, and my new garden!
Football is still happening but there are now no teams to follow. England went out 'in disgrace' apparently. Sarah was cross about that. I know about being 'in disgrace'. It is not a good place to be. We had a good, new thing though for the football - we had red and white balloons round the house - until last Sunday. I had not seen balloons before and at first I was scared of them, but then I got brave and chased them, and I was allowed to burst them all with my teeth after England lost. That was good fun. It will be my 1st birthday soon. I have asked for a lot of balloons and a cake all to myself. I noticed that everyone gets cake when they have a party, but they never give me any. I think I will invite my friends for a picnic and a rumble, and some cake, and to help me burst my balloons. This is me about to kill a balloon.....
Sarah has become an Australian citizen now. This means that she got a certificate, and went to the pub (that's what you have to do if you're an Australian), then came home with a furry kangaroo which Syd bought her (not a real one) and put it on the mantelpiece. I have been eyeing it and am waiting patiently for it to fall off so I can rip it up. In Australia now we've got a new prime minister who has ginger hair and is a lady (Sarah thinks this is good). I am not surprised by this - ladies are much more bossy than men so they probably know best about being prime minister and telling people (especially men) what to do all day. I didn't know that they let people with ginger hair be prime minister though. Mmmmm, maybe one day.......

Saturday, June 26, 2010

World Cup Winter

Gosh I have been so busy I have not had time to write for a while. I don't know what I have been busy doing....I think mostly I've been sleeping. I seem to be quite tired now that it's always dark. And I have yet another new bed to sleep on so I have to divide up my days making sure I get a sleep on each of the beds (I don't want to wear one out).

Because it's winter apparently it is acceptable for the S's to make me wear a jumper. I would not have needed the jumper if they had left my fur alone, but for some reason they thought it was also acceptable for me to get a hair cut just as the temperature dropped 10 degrees. I quite like my jumper anyway, it is quite manly, not like some of the other things I have seen dogs being made to wear down at the park. Gordon got it for me. Thanks Gordon.

Sarah says she doesn't know what I am moaning about and if I lived in England like most of the other Airedales, it would be colder than this even in summer.

Syd doesn't speak much these days because it is 'The World Cup'. Now this could be another reason why I am a little bit tired. Syd and I have to stay up ALL NIGHT MOST NIGHTS watching 'The World Cup' on television. It is exhausting. It's very exhausting because we have to support 3 teams; Greece, England and Australia - even though all those teams are rubbish!! We are always changing our shirts depending on who is playing. Syd won't wear the England shirt though. I don't know why we don't support Brazil, I like them better. Or perhaps New Zealand because they are doing well- better than Australia actually (but I am not supposed to mention that).

It was quite good because Sarah went away when 'The World Cup' started and it meant Syd and I could just live on the sofa, and not eat vegetables, and not tidy the house. We had to do a lot of tidying just before she came back, Syd was in a panic actually and was hoovering up all our pizza crumbs and furballs. And he bought some vegetables to put them in the fridge (just for show.) But he forgot to throw away the old dead flowers in the vase that Sarah told him to throw away the day she left! Oops. Sometimes us men can't get anything right.....

I got a present from England anyway when she came back - a new dog toy, which was good and lasted me a whole day before I destroyed it. I can usually get through a new toy in 24 hours. Sarah says if anyone has a suggestion for indestructible toys please let her know. She also says thanks for the advice from you all about the what she does is she takes me my own breadroll from home to try and stop me eating the mouldy bread. I like bread better than anything, even cheese or sausage. I don't know why - I just do. It doesn't stop me eating the mouldy bread though, it just means now I get double bread!! Don't tell her!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010


There is a new and good thing now at my park. Somebody (his name is 'idiot' according to Syd) leaves a lot of mouldy bread rolls on the grass every morning. I like to go and eat them as soon as I get to the park now, before any one else can get them. They are a bit stale and hard but I don't care about that. On Wednesday I ate SIX before Sarah caught me. I say 'caught' because whilst I was eating them, she was chasing me. I was onto her though. Each time she got a little bit near, I waited a second, so she thought she could get me, then I ran away. It was a really good game!  On Thursday I had about 5 before Syd caught me. I felt a bit sick when I got home, maybe it was a bit too much. I have a cough now because the bread was quite hard and it scratched my throat. Syd said I was eating it so fast perhaps I inhaled some. He threw a lot of it into the water for the fish, so I could not get it, but I was full by then so I didn't care. Ha!

Anyway, the S's don't like me eating the mouldy bread. They tell me off and say we can't go to that park any more we have to find another one. They say that rats have been eating the bread because it's hollow in the middle. Fancy that! Now I know that rats like the bread I am even more interested in it. As well as bread, rats are my passion. I would love to get one. I have chased a couple and seen two dead ones. I don't know what I would do if I actually caught one. I think I would bring it home to be my friend. I am sure Sarah would like a rat to live in the house with us. I would not share my pigs ears with it though.

This is me saying Pleeeeeeese give me some bread. Or a pig's ear. Or a sausage. Or even some toilet paper?

It is autumn time now, and I like it. Firstly because I am not nearly so hot in my fur as I was in summer. There are a lot of leaves blowing around to chase which is another good game. I have learnt that in Australia we are very special and we have autumn when noone else is having it. A bit like the Queen's birthday. Interesting. Also we have roast dinners instead of salad. Roast dinners smell MUCH better than salad, and sometimes the S's let me have some. Here is me and here is Oscar (before someone stole all his fur) being LOCKED OUT when everyone else was inside eating roast dinner. Can you believe it??

Today I am going to 'obedience' again. I have not been for a while. I hope Gracie and Ringo are there! Sarah thinks I go to learn things but I just go to see them, and sniff all the other dogs (and to eat sausage of course).

Out of bounds......

There are quite a few places where I am 'not allowed to go'.

First there is 'upstairs'. Ever since I hurt my leg I am not supposed to go there. But I do.

Then there is 'the sofa'.  I must not go on there at all, as it is forbidden. It is doubly forbidden to climb up the sofa and sit on the back of it. The sofa is brown, like my bed so you can understand how I might get confused and end up there when I am a little bit tired.  The sofa is soft and comfy, and if it's nighttime and the S's are not sitting on there, I sometimes give it a little try. 

Also there is 'the big brown chair'. This is my favourite because it is 1. upstairs, and 2. brown and comfy and soft.  Guess what - I am not allowed on here either. Here is me, contemplating the fact that I shouldn't sit on the big brown chair.

Finally there is 'Syd and Sarah's bed'. I am definitely never allowed on there....... as you can see. The best way to get on there is to wait till the the weekends. The S's don't get up at the proper time on these days so I do my crying noise from 6 am (proper getting up time) and after I have been through my whole repertoire of sad-sounding noises, they feel guilty and sometimes let me upstairs (just so they can be lazy and NOT get up).

If they do, then I take advantage of that moment of weakness and I am ON THAT BED quicker than you can say 'No Fozzie'. Once I am on there, I don't get off. I sit on them, I chew parts of them that are sticking out of the bed (usually arms) and I eat their books or any other rubbish I might find there. Sometimes I just put my paws on their faces whilst they are snoozing. This wakes them up very quickly, as my paws are very scratchy.

Isn't it strange that all things I am not allowed to sit on are brown? It is very confusing, because my night time bed is brown, and so is my day bed (I need a lot of sleep) and I AM allowed on both of these things, in fact I am positively encouraged to sit on them.  Sometimes when the S's see me in the wrong place, they get a bit cross. Especially if I've just had a big drink of my water before I get on, and my beard is a bit wet and drippy. Although, at other times, they say, 'ahhhh look at Fozzie', and they let me stay. They are very inconsistent - also confusing for a dog. I try my hardest to look fast asleep when I'm in these 'out of bounds' areas and quite often I get away with it!

One more place is 'in the front seat of the car. I must not go there, so I usually stay in the back. Unless I feel like going in the front of course.

Everywhere else I can go. Except for 'in plant pots'. That is not allowed. Actually there are no plants left in any of the plant pots now, so I don't know why I can't go in there.....