My Valentine.......

Last week I learned about a new thing. It is called 'Romance'. 'Romance' is when you have to give someone you like a present. Syd told me all about it. He said you have to be careful not to forget to do 'Romance' at the right times, like birthdays and on a special day called Valentine's day.

I thought about this and wondered who I could do 'Romance' with. You remember my older lady friend, Finn, who is very hairy and lives next door? Well I decided I would try it with her. Not with her sister Griff (who is also hairy, but quite grumpy and who does not like me. DEFINTELY NO 'Romance' for her).

You have to do Valentine's romancing in secret so I left a present and a card in Finn's letter box when she was out with her humans being made to do jogging . I am glad my humans don't believe in doing jogging. It doesn't look fun at all. Actually, I did not really want to give her the present, because it was one of my special pig's ears, and after I had put it in the box, I thought may be it would be best if I just kept it for myself. Anyway Syd said that was not really romantic, and I should 'do the right thing' and give away the pig's ear (even though she's got a SACK of pigs ears at her house already, which I think is a bit greedy to be honest, since I only get a pig's ear once in a blue moon.....anyway Syd says that it is not gentlemanly to talk about how much  ladies eat. But really!  Maybe that's why she has to do jogging....mmmm?)

I think that Finn was impressed with my romancing. Next time she saw me I got a big kiss! And we played at squashing plants together, until I got taken home by the S's. They are no fun. Griff was very jealous and pulled a face at me. Not that you can really see what kind of face she's pulling under all that hair. But I could just sense she was pulling a face.

It is my 6 month birthday next week. Syd says that's not really a birthday, you have to wait till you're 1 year old before you get a real birthday. But that is ages away, so I am hoping someone will remember and maybe I'll get a present. I would like my pig's ear back. Or maybe a sausage?

Sewing and a Midnight ride......

I have been at the Vets TWO TIMES this week. The first time, I couldn't believe I was going there again. I had not hurt myself, or been in trouble but I was left there all day, and had things done to me AGAIN. I thought perhaps the vet was going to sort out my radical haircut but no, he was poking around with my leg.

I am not sure what he did because I fell asleep for a loooooong time, but when I woke up my leg was bald again and someone had been sewing in it. I know about sewing as I have seen Sarah trying sew a button onto some shorts. She was not very good and sewed the shorts onto the jeans she was wearing. I laughed at that. Anyway, my leg.....has now got sewing in it. It does not hurt though. I proved that by running around really fast when we got home. Sarah says I should NOT run fast but must rest. She says that the vet took out 2 pins that he had left in my leg! He must be as bad at sewing as Sarah is. So that is why I had to go to the vets for the first time this week.

What is good though, is that in 2 weeks, when the sewing gets taken out.....I CAN GO OFF THE LEASH AGAIN. I have made a list of all the things I will do in 2 weeks:

1. GO OFF THE LEASH
2. RUN as fast as I can wherever I am.
3. PLAY with everyone I see on my walks
4. GO TO SEE ALL MY FRIENDS!! I have not seen them for ages

5. Sarah says I will also go to obedience class. Mmmm. I don't know about that one.

Because the S's don't let me have fun any more (no off leash running, no jumping, bla bla) I have invented some new, fun things to do at home.

1. Menacing the green garden snake. I made a lot of holes in it with my teeth and now it sprays water everywhere like a shower!
2. Stealing things. I like to take Syd's stuff from where he leaves it on the table and take it out to my grassy area. That is where I stash my loot. Things I have taken so far include shoes, and cushions, and wallets...... I have to be really quick because if the S's see me, the loot gets 'confiscated'.

3. Getting angry at toys. Some of my toys make me really angry. I don't know why. I just get really cross and shake and shake them till they break. I have to lie down for a rest after I've been doing that.

4. Putting my face in the toilet. This makes Sarah very cross which is why I do it! She comes running to close the toilet lid when she sees me do that. I like to make her run!!

Anyway the second trip to the Vets was really weird. Last night, very late the S's started behaving even more strangely than usual. They must have lost something because they were looking under the sofa and the table, lifting up all the furniture and looking everywhere. I don't know what they had lost, but it must have been important. They looked at me quite a lot too.

The next thing that happened was that we all got in the car. This was very exciting because it was dark and it was bedtime and we never usually go in the car then. It was good going in the car, I was a bit tired but I looked out of the window at all the lights, and wondered if we were going on holidays again. Anyway it was a surprise when we arrived and we were at...... ANOTHER VETs! Not my usual one but a new one; the 'Emergency Vet clinic', it was called. .

When we got inside, a nice lady vet came to see me. She said 'he has trouble written all over him'. I don't know what she meant, anyway she took me away and took a photo of my tummy. She said she wanted to see what was in there. Then the S's came to look at the picture. They seemed quite happy to find there was nothing in my tummy, apart from some bits of food, oh yes and some gas. Sarah said it was not a surprise at all to hear I had gas in there.

So after that we all went home again and went to bed. Very strange.

This morning Sarah was looking for something again, and finally found the missing thing. It was something I had left on my grass. It was not interesting so I had not eaten it but just scratched it a bit with my teeth. This is what it was. A shiny thing that I had found it in Syd's wallet.

Now I think they thought I had eaten the shiny thing! I don't know why they would think that! It was not tasty like a sausage or a bone! Syd says I owe him $400 for last night's ride in the car, and that I have to get a paper round and a Saturday job until I've paid him back. I don't know what he is talking about.

Hey did you all see that Gracie was in a show? She looked very grown up, I hardly recognised her. I would like to go in a show too, but Sarah says the only show I should go in is the circus. I don't know what she means by that either. I am going to visit Kay, Ruby and Gracie and my brother Ringo on Sunday - I can't wait!

Human Behaviour

Here are some of my observations on my humans. I have been watching them for some time now and these are the things I have noticed.

1. Parties. When humans have had parties, they get up later the next morning. Sometimes I have to wait AGES for my breakfast the morning after a party. They are also in a bad mood and don't even say sorry for being late. I can guess how late they will get up by counting up how many empty bottles there are in the kitchen. Also their parties are boring. When my friends come round, we chase each other round the garden for hours, and have fun. When their friends come round, they just sit about talking. Boring.

2. Work. Humans don't like to go to work. On the days when they go to work, they are in a bad mood (even though they haven't had a party) and they rush about, ignoring me. I prefer them on days when they don't go to work. On those days they are happier and spend more time with me.

3. Bossing. Lady humans (Sarah) are bossy. They are always telling men humans (Syd) what to do. But the men humans don't often take any notice. Sometimes they pretend they are listening, but are really watching football. Most of the bossing is about 'doing exercise'.

4. Saturdays. Men humans like to go to 'Bunnings' on the days they don't go to work. Every Saturday Syd goes to 'Bunnings', and when he comes back Sarah says 'did you have a sausage'? I don't know what 'Bunnings' is but I wish I could go there and have a sausage.

Lady humans like to go to 'the spa' on Saturdays. I think that the spa is a bit like the groomers, but worse. I heard that they take your fur off with wax! I am NEVER going there. Sarah sometimes goes for a long time, but when she comes back she doesn't look any better. She might have had her hair smoothed out, or her claws painted red but that's the only difference. I think she is wasting her money.

6. Chores. Men humans are in charge of driving the car. Lady humans are in charge of the fridge. Neither men or ladies are in charge of cleaning the house. I have noticed that no-one wants to do that. They especially don't like getting out the vaccuum cleaner. I don't like that vacuum cleaner either. It is too noisy and once I saw it eating some of my biscuits which I was saving on the floor for later. When it comes out of the cupboard now I bark at it and I chase it round the house. Fortunately it rarely makes an appearance.

7. Clothes. Sarah likes clothes and going shopping to get more clothes. Syd is not interested in clothes at all. Sarah has a cupboard for her clothes which is twice as big as Syd's. AND she puts her clothes in his cupboard too. Poor Syd has to leave his clothes on the floor - and he gets in trouble for this. No wonder Syd doesn't like to go shopping for clothes if he doesn't have anywhere to put them. Sometimes I help him; when I find his clothes (especially socks) on the floor I pick them up and run away with them to bury them for him before Sarah can see them.

8. TV. Syd likes to watch football; even in the middle of the night. He gets in trouble for this too. Sarah likes to watch 'Sex and the City' even though she's seen all the episodes before. Syd doesn't mind though, because when she's watching 'Sex and the City' no-one is telling him what to do. He told me that 'Sex and the City' is a programme about ladies going shopping to buy more clothes, so of course Sarah would like it.

These are my observations so far. I will keep watching the S's, and let you know of any more funny behaviour that I notice. On the whole they are not too bad, just a little bit strange. I wonder if all humans are like this? I have heard that cats just move out when they get fed up with their humans, and go and live next door. I would not do this because Bodger (a CAT) lives next door on one side, and Griff (who does not like me) lives on the other. I think I will just stay here for the time being.

Here is the first official photo of my new haircut.

What do you think?

note: Syd says I should explain:

Bunnings = Hardware store (no women allowed).  Mmm, No women and sausages? I DEFINITELY want to go there.