Human Behaviour

Here are some of my observations on my humans. I have been watching them for some time now and these are the things I have noticed.

1. Parties. When humans have had parties, they get up later the next morning. Sometimes I have to wait AGES for my breakfast the morning after a party. They are also in a bad mood and don't even say sorry for being late. I can guess how late they will get up by counting up how many empty bottles there are in the kitchen. Also their parties are boring. When my friends come round, we chase each other round the garden for hours, and have fun. When their friends come round, they just sit about talking. Boring.

2. Work. Humans don't like to go to work. On the days when they go to work, they are in a bad mood (even though they haven't had a party) and they rush about, ignoring me. I prefer them on days when they don't go to work. On those days they are happier and spend more time with me.

3. Bossing. Lady humans (Sarah) are bossy. They are always telling men humans (Syd) what to do. But the men humans don't often take any notice. Sometimes they pretend they are listening, but are really watching football. Most of the bossing is about 'doing exercise'.

4. Saturdays. Men humans like to go to 'Bunnings' on the days they don't go to work. Every Saturday Syd goes to 'Bunnings', and when he comes back Sarah says 'did you have a sausage'? I don't know what 'Bunnings' is but I wish I could go there and have a sausage.

Lady humans like to go to 'the spa' on Saturdays. I think that the spa is a bit like the groomers, but worse. I heard that they take your fur off with wax! I am NEVER going there. Sarah sometimes goes for a long time, but when she comes back she doesn't look any better. She might have had her hair smoothed out, or her claws painted red but that's the only difference. I think she is wasting her money.

6. Chores. Men humans are in charge of driving the car. Lady humans are in charge of the fridge. Neither men or ladies are in charge of cleaning the house. I have noticed that no-one wants to do that. They especially don't like getting out the vaccuum cleaner. I don't like that vacuum cleaner either. It is too noisy and once I saw it eating some of my biscuits which I was saving on the floor for later. When it comes out of the cupboard now I bark at it and I chase it round the house. Fortunately it rarely makes an appearance.

7. Clothes. Sarah likes clothes and going shopping to get more clothes. Syd is not interested in clothes at all. Sarah has a cupboard for her clothes which is twice as big as Syd's. AND she puts her clothes in his cupboard too. Poor Syd has to leave his clothes on the floor - and he gets in trouble for this. No wonder Syd doesn't like to go shopping for clothes if he doesn't have anywhere to put them. Sometimes I help him; when I find his clothes (especially socks) on the floor I pick them up and run away with them to bury them for him before Sarah can see them.

8. TV. Syd likes to watch football; even in the middle of the night. He gets in trouble for this too. Sarah likes to watch 'Sex and the City' even though she's seen all the episodes before. Syd doesn't mind though, because when she's watching 'Sex and the City' no-one is telling him what to do. He told me that 'Sex and the City' is a programme about ladies going shopping to buy more clothes, so of course Sarah would like it.

These are my observations so far. I will keep watching the S's, and let you know of any more funny behaviour that I notice. On the whole they are not too bad, just a little bit strange. I wonder if all humans are like this? I have heard that cats just move out when they get fed up with their humans, and go and live next door. I would not do this because Bodger (a CAT) lives next door on one side, and Griff (who does not like me) lives on the other. I think I will just stay here for the time being.

Here is the first official photo of my new haircut.

What do you think?

note: Syd says I should explain:

Bunnings = Hardware store (no women allowed).  Mmm, No women and sausages? I DEFINITELY want to go there.