Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas Bumper Edition: Fozzie's 'Christmas Tail'
Other things you do is 'be festive'. Being festive means you drink wine, and other drinks that you only get out at Christmas that make you go silly. The S's (particularly one of them) are often 'festive', even when it's not Christmas...... And you see all your friends and you don't go to work. I don't go to work anyway, so it makes no difference to me, but the S's get very excited about this. There is Christmas music too, which Sarah keeps playing, even in the car, which all sounds the same and hurts your ears (a bit like Kylie Minogue hurts your ears). Also, you think about all your friends and family who you can't see because they are far away (and if they live in England, you phone them and remind them that it is a very pleasant 28 degrees in Australia even though it's December, and, you also mention cricket but you only mention cricket if Australia are winning, otherwise you keep quiet....)
Then after all of that - there is New Year. This is my least favourite bit, because all the good food has been finished, and they have scary fireworks, very loud and bangy. Especially in Sydney. They go on for hours and even if you hide under the bed you can still hear them. You might remember, I broke my leg last time it was New Year because I was very scared and I fell down the stairs. So this year we will be spending New Year in the country and Syd says there won't be any fireworks to scare me, so that will be very good.
One last thing; the S's make you dress up at Christmas. They put hats on you, or antlers, or stripy jumpers. Look at what they made me wear this year........ I was not impressed. They thought this was funny, but I did not. This is called 'The Nativity'; and there was supposed to be a sheep and a donkey in the photo with us, but we don't know any sheeps or donkeys. I wanted to involve the wombat who lives in our garden but he wasn't available so the S's used all my toys instead who were; a pig, a fly and a rabbit. It was not MY idea to do this - but you don't have a choice with the S's as your humans.
So, I hope you all have a very good Christmas, with turkey (not chicken), pigs in blankets, pigs legs, pigs ears and presents and that your humans don't dress you up as an elf, or a fairy, or put a towel on your head, and I wish all the dogs a Happy and non-scary New Year, with no fireworks and no fleas: this can be an itchy time of year for us hairy ones. (And a tip: If your humans try to make you do a 'resolution' and promise to be good in 2011, just nod and say yes, but keep your paws crossed because then it doesn't really count and you don't have to do it.....)
Before I sign off for the year, I want to say a big big thank you to Sharon. Sharon is my new lady friend. She works with Sarah and she likes dogs (doesn't everyone?) and she made a special picture of me for Sarah! AND she gave me all her old tennis balls that she didn't want any more. I have mostly put them all in the harbour, I like to do that as it annoys Sarah, because she can't get them and I won't fetch them out again. Great fun! I would like to maybe swap Sarah for Sharon....her name begins with 'S' too, so I am sure Syd wouldn't even notice......mmmm I might put that on my Christmas list. ' Dear Santa, please bring me a new 'S' for Christmas..... ha!' That might teach her that a dog does not like to get 'feedback' or have a 'year end appraisal' or any of her other nonsense......