End of Year Appraisal

Today the S's gave me a 'review'. They said everyone gets one at the end of the year, to see if they have met their goals and to highlight any 'areas for improvement'. I did not like the sound of this at all, so I went outside to chew up some of my new pre-Christmas toys and left them to it. (My pre-Christmas toys are ones that I managed to get off Syd before he had time to wrap them up). I was listening to the S's, though I pretended to be very busy with my fluffy pig (he makes 2 types of noise; a squeak and a grunt - very entertaining) and I heard Sarah say that I had not really done very well in several areas. I was shocked.

These so called 'areas for improvement' were; obedience, listening and attention to detail. I am too distracted by cats on the street, and stale bread in the park whilst out on walks, she said. And I got a 'needs improvement'  also for 'etiquette'. I have never even heard of this, but it is about good manners. I scored low because I weed on a lady the other day in the park. This lady was wearing a long dress that looked like a lamppost, and standing very still, and I absentmindedly cocked my leg on her whilst wondering what I might be having for dinner (it was chicken AGAIN) and anyway,  it was only one wee on a lady in a whole year; hardly worth a mention at all in my view.

Syd said I scored highly on 'guarding the front steps from BODGER', and that I exceeded expectations for 'handsomest dog leaning out of a car window'. I was pleased with this; Syd and I see eye to eye on what is important in life.

Also taken into account was my scorecard from Angie Paws. This is the book I have mentioned to you, where Angie Paws writes what I have been doing on my walks. Very unecessary for the S's to get reports on me like this, but I have not managed to get this book yet, though I have tried and it is now a little bit raggedy round the edges.  Anyway, in my book I have an equal number of smiley faces and 'comments'. So I have scored C+ over all.

I didn't get to have a say, as usual, but if I was doing an appraisal of the S's, I would rate Sarah very low all-round, apart from high on bossing and screeching. Syd would score high on everything but he probably needs to improve on taking Fozzie for walks. Usually, when Sarah is not around, he drives me in the car to the park,....but that is our secret. I suppose that is how I have got so good at hanging out of the car window.

Anyway I am not sure of the point of all this, but I did hear that I am to be set some goals for next year.... I will wait until I hear what they are before I decide if I will do them or not. I can tell you I have already set myself some goals, and number 1 is to get BODGER, or if I can't get him, any other cat in the neighborhood, by end of quarter 1. If I succeed, I will be expecting a big bonus of some pigs' ears and  a promotion to at least number 2 in the pack. Apparently I am currently at number 3, with Syd at 1 and Sarah at 2!! Surely that is a mistake? She can't even kill a cockroach, she is rubbish at throwing balls, and you should see her trying to park the car......so embarassing. When you are 'handsomest dog leaning out of a car', frankly, you deserve to arrive in style, with smooth parking like Syd seems to manage. I shall be giving my feedback on her, that is for sure.