I have been 'in the wars' again. Not fighting because I never do fighting. Just hurting myself. Syd says I am accident prone.... I can't type very well at all, so sorry if I do mistakes. My paw is VERY SAW, I mean sore. Last week Sarah found a lump between my toes. She pressed it and I did a big squeal and gave her one of my looks. This kind of a look.........A not happy look.
So we had to go the vets. Do you know what had happened to my paw? A grass seed had gone inside my toes and made my foot all swollen, and so today I had to go to the vets AGAIN to have it taken out. You know how I feel about the vets......... mmmmm. I gave them a look too, just before I went to sleep........
I have to wear a sock for a few days on the sore paw, just one sock though, not four, which looks a bit silly so I think that tomorrow I will take it off (I nearly got it off already, I am nibbling it when noone is looking). Now I am just having a snoozy afternoon. Actually I should not really be writing, I am not supposed to do 'any work', or 'make any major decisions' for the next 24 hours. That is what they said at the vets. I don't generally have any big decisions to make, which is lucky; apart from which park to go to for my walk, or which side of the car sit on when leaning out of the window.
Other news - Sarah is leaving work, and all her friends. I don't think she should, I am worried she might spend more time hanging round here. Anway we shall see. She and Syd are going on holiday without me for a week after she leaves work. Yes that's right, without me. But you know what - I DON'T CARE! I have decided it is good when they go away sometimes, not all of the time, but sometimes it is good to get a little break from them. And be in charge. A dog can have too many S's around the place. Angie Paws is coming to look after me. I think that I will be able to 'get away with stuff' whilst she is here, because she is very nice and never tells me off. And also because she cannot find my report card book that she usually fills in, telling 'tails' about what I have been up to. Noone can find anything in our messy house anymore; it is all covered in dust and the only food we have is dogbiscuits (fortunately). I think I will tell Angie that I am allowed pigs ears on demand, that I sleep where I like, and that I don't have to share my bones with Ruby and Gracie. And that I never wear socks.
We still have Ruby and Gracie and Neil and Anthony at our place, building us a new house - in between drinking tea and doing the crossword of course. Sometimes it feels like they have been here forever. They make a lot of mess, which means I have to have more baths because I get very dusty and itchy. You know how I feel about baths..... Also I had to have a special dogdoor sent from England for me which has to be put in the new windows. I will be in charge of supervising everyone whilst Syd is away. It is a big reponsibility. I will intruct them on where to put my new bed, and what kind of plants to put in the new garden (the digging up kind, obviously).
Also I will make sure they don't fill in the exciting new tunnel I have found which has twice now allowed me to tunnel through, commando style (I mean by digging, nothing to do with not wearing underpants) under the fence to BODGER's HOUSE! Disappointingly, he was out on both occasions but I had a thoroughly good sniff around for him, and checked out his toys, and his yard; which was much tidier than ours by the way. Mind you, our yard has mostly been stolen, and replaced with a pile of rubbish, a bit like our house.
After my tunneling adventure, I was only persuaded me to come home by the whiff of pig's ear that I suddenly caught, near the tunnel entrance on our side of the fence. I came back quick before someone else got it. It is bad enough sharing bones with Ruby and Gracie, I REFUSE to share pigs' ears. It was Ruby's birthday last week and Sarah bought us all a liver cookie each, but I accidentally ate 2 of them, so Gracie didn't get one. I felt a bit sorry that I did that, but not that sorry. I made sure that I got all traces of it out of my beard before Gracie saw me, I think I got away with it.