Catfight

Well, you will not believe this. It is the most outrageous thing I have reported on my blog so far. This morning BODGER swiped me and made my nose bleed! It hurt A LOT. In case you've forgotten who this devil is, BODGER is my neighbour and he is a CAT. Usually he hangs out on the back fence, which is quite high, and he smirks at me, just out of reach whilst I am on my hind legs trying to get him.

Anyway, today I was coming back from my walk, going up my steps and I did not notice the furry fiend, who was sitting on his own steps, lying in wait. Sarah did not notice him either, she was too busy looking in the mail box. He launched an attack and took us both by surprise! I was totally shocked, especially when I realised I had blood running down my face. Sarah was 'shooing' BODGER but he kept on coming. He is one mean cat. I quickly recovered my composure, and tried to get him back. I did my loudest, scariest woofs (the neighbours were all staring) and tried to box him with my paws, but Sarah was dragging me by my lead and she made me go in the house. Typical woman. I know if Syd had been here he would have helped me put that evil cat in his place. He is far too big for his paws. All day I have been making a list of all the bad things I want to do to the Bodge. He had better watch it. No cat swipes Fozzie on his own porch and gets away with it. Here is my nose BEFORE it got swiped.

After the swiping, I got a bone from Sarah and some biscuits, whereas BODGER had to stay outside in the rain all day whilst his human Adam was at work. I think I would not really like to be a cat. As well as being evil and a fiend, detested by dogs and anyone reasonable, even your humans don't like you enough to allow you to stay in the house without supervision. You have to lurk in the street and sit under cars all day until they come home. You don't get bones, or to go for walks, and you don't get to ride in the car with your ears blowing in the wind. It is much better being a dog.

I reported the incident to Syd and he says we have to squirt water at BODGER next time we see him. That is OK, but a bit lame to be honest. There are plenty of better punishments we could do to him in my opinion. Angie Paws says we will definitely get BODGER and even suggested a good type of spray that we should use on him. These humans mean well, but I would like to make HIS nose bleed. I will get him with a nice right hook one of these days.

My nose is OK now, no thanks to HIM. I did give it a rub with my paw when Sarah came home tonight though, and I got a pig's ear for being brave. You have to know how to work these humans......especially the lady ones.

PS Syd has gone to Spain on a plane! It is a long way away.  He says it is a work trip, but I don't believe it; I saw him looking up football matches on his computer........I am disappointed that I had to stay behind with Sarah. I did sit very close to his suitcase whilst he was packing, as I thought maybe he would pack me too. In fact I took out a couple of pairs of his socks to make more room, but Sarah saw me and put them back again. She is on my blacklist.......... with BODGER. I have asked Syd to bring me back a pair of 'Doggles' from his trip. These are special goggles that dogs can wear, to protect their eyes from scratches, essential  for unarmed combat with fiends such as this one.......

Bye Bye Carolyn

Wow. It has been ages since I wrote. There is a lot to catch up on. I have been sooooo busy I don't know where the time goes. By the time I've had my breakfast, had my walk, had my bone, had a snooze, eaten one of Syd's socks, taken a pair of Sarah's knickers out onto the porch to show them to the builders, had another snooze, had a pigs ear, attacked the S's when they come home, had another walk, had dinner, had a snooze, jumped on the bed, got kicked off the bed, done some grumbles and gone to sleep.... the day is over.

Anyway the first thing to tell you is that I have been sad because my nice lady who takes me for walks when the S's are at work won't take me out any more. No more Carolyn. I think maybe I have been a little bit too naughty and bouncy for her and that is why. I am not sure but I am sorry about all those times I dragged her down the street and jumped on her and ran away in the park. I have raided my piggy bank to get her a present; there was not much in there, just half a pig's ear and my holiday fund (I am saving up to go to the beach at Christmas). I hope I will see her around on my outings and will make sure I give her a great big kiss if I do. Sarah says it's not because I was bad that she won't come any more but because she's 'retiring'. I don't know what that really means but I hope I didn't cause it.

My new lady is Angie Paws. I think she is nice too but I have noticed that she writes what I have been up to in a little book and leaves it for the S's. I don't think this is a very good idea; they don't need to know everything I do. I will need to dispose of that book somehow...perhaps with my teeth. Sometimes I get a smiley face in my book - this means I have been good. Other times there are comments like 'very lively today' which I think is secret code for 'ran away again', or 'a little hyper' which means 'too bouncy'. Anyway I like Angie - I have new doggy friends now and I like to go in her car and stick my head out of the window.

Here are some pictures of me in the car (this is Syd's car though). Sometimes I like to sleep in the car, but other times, when we are going maybe a bit too fast round bendy bits - I like to hold on.

Removaling

This weekend the S's did removals. Removals is the most boring thing I've ever seen. More boring than the S's doing work on their computers instead of playing with me, and more boring than being made to sit whilst your dinner is made (always too slowly). Even the S's didn't like doing removaling. There was a lot of swearing* and grunting# and showing of bumcrack+.

Syd's friend Manuel helped us to move things. I wanted to help too but noone would let me so I just had to watch. Boring.

There was one good part to removals. That was; sitting on all the things that were being removed. If you timed it right, you could manage to sit on a thing just as the S's were about to lift it - that was very good fun. Also going in the truck was OK, but I was a bit squashed (Sarah is a little too fat) and I had to wear my seatbelt and could not lie down comfortably, so I did a lot of fidgeting and big sighs until Sarah got the message and moved up a bit. I was a bit confused actually because we kept putting things in the truck and going somewhere, taking them out, then coming back, then going again. I was not sure where we were going to end up - but finally we went to my favourite new place; the country.

We had an awful lot of things to remove and Syd had a lot of driving to do. I had a lot of waiting to do and practiced doing patience again until I fell asleep.

















On Sunday I had to watch the S's carrying a lot of things around again in the new place (and more swearing and bumcrack), and just as I thought it was getting TOO BORING FOR WORDS, something good happened. A new dog just arrived in our garden. I don't know where she came from, suddenly she was just there! She was quite old but very friendly, and she stayed all afternoon to keep me company. She kept sitting where I wanted to sit though, so I kept sitting on her. Sarah said I should stop 'mithering' her and let her sit, but I wanted to play and anyway; why should I leave her alone when she's in my garden eating MY bone? I don't think she will be my new girlfriend (a little bit too old) but I will let her be my friend. I hope she comes again next time we are in the country.....















*by Sarah, unladylike = not acceptable
#by Syd, manly grunting whilst lifting heavy items = ok
+I'm not saying whose; use your imagination.....

When We Were One...........

It was my 1st birthday last week. I have been longing to be ONE, so that I could have a party. Well I had TWO parties! One at home with the S's (a little bit boring, but they tried - we had balloons and cake) and a second party which was in the park with all my friends and was much more fun.

For my birthday I got: 1. A big bone (I have already eaten it), 2. A toy bone that makes a funny noise and is supposed to be indestructable (we'll see about that....) and 3. A new Mr Flea (to replace my old Mr Flea who someone who shall remain nameless but whose name starts with Sa put in the bin because he was apparently 'too manky')....

Kay and my mum Ruby and my sister Gracie came to the party in the park and we had liver cake and peanut butter cookies. Oscar came for a bit, but was taken away by his humans because they could tell he was planning a dive into the canal (not allowed). AND very exciting -  a special guest of honour came as a surprise.....Rupert the Airedale. Rupert is very distinguished, and the S's told me that he is the reason they got an Airedale in the first place. Syd once gave Rupert (and his human Gary) a lift in the car because it was raining, and after Rupert put his head on Syd's shoulder, Syd decided that if he was ever going to get a dog, it had to be an Airedale. I think that's a good story, although I don't know why anyone would ever want any other type of dog really.

So Rupert came and met my friends and played ball for a bit, then he sat and watched us all because he has a poor stiff leg so he couldn't run as much as we did.

Ringo my brother was supposed to come, because he was ONE too, but he had hurt his paw and couldn't make it. We were all very sad about that -especially me because I was outnumbered by bossy girls (until Rupert came). In fact, my mum Ruby was so bossy that she told me off for playing with her toys, and got me in a headlock, and I didn't like that at all. Syd said it was because it was 'that time of the month' and you have to watch out for women around that time.  I don't know what he meant but I certainly will be careful around mid-August in future. These women can be very tricky, I have learned.

Now I am ONE I think I will be allowed to do what I want a little bit more....maybe I will eat when I feel like it and stay up later, and catch rats, and chew up shoes, and sit on the sofa, and NOT have baths. I think that's how it works, right? And the S's and BODGER will have to show me 'respect'. That's what Rupert said - he said older dogs deserve a lot of respect. I am looking forward to that. One day I might even be as distinguished as Rupert.

Christmas in July in August

Well we have had a very interesting weekend with our friends. We did a funny thing. We pretended it was Christmas (it is not Christmas) in July (it is not July, it is August). I was confused about this. I still am. Anyway, apparently we have to do this in Australia because we get Christmas at the wrong time, when it is hot. So.....if you want to do proper Christmas, when it's cold, you have to do it in July. But in August. If you understand that perhaps you can explain it to me? We had to go to the Hunter Valley to do this, because that is where you find wine, and you need wine to have Christmas of course.

Anyway. More importantly it was VERY GOOD FUN. Oscar was there, and Tayla, and all their humans And Victoria, who is my special lady friend. There was A LOT of food (always good) including pigs in blankets and turkey and there was a BIG GARDEN to run in. What else? Oh yes balloons, and Christmas pudding (which Sarah set on fire which was a bit embarrassing, obviously she is not a very good cook).  And there was SANTA. But Santa was Syd. Confusing again.

Oscar was scared of Santa, but Tayla and I were not. We liked him because he was cooking sausages. Actually he set them on fire too- what is it about the S's and their cooking?? They should leave it to the others. But maybe not Jan as he tried to make gravy out of bread when noone was looking; but I was watching him and I saw.  Here is Jan and Jason - drinking wine.  They managed to get a glass before Sarah got to it.

In the Hunter Valley there really  is a lot of wine (Syd says there is even more than Sarah can drink) and you can go around tasting it for FREE. Except dogs may not taste wine, and they have to wait outside. I tasted the fountain instead whilst I was waiting. Oscar wanted to swim in the fountain but his humans said no. Why do humans say NO so much? 

I did get a little bit too excited in all the fun and I accidentally ate something I shouldn't have during Christmas dinner. Syd was chasing me, and I just gulped it down quick so he couldn't get it. Fortunately I threw it up again in the S's room at 4 am. It was one of Tayla's little pink socks. Sarah wouldn't give it back to Tayla, I don't know why. Tayla has plenty of other pink stuff so I don't think she would have even missed that sock. I also tried to eat Santa's beard........

Actually Santa split his trousers when he was showing everyone how to do a 'grapevine'. I think this was something to do with wine as well. I am not allowed to show you a photo of the split trousers.

I liked going away with our friends, especially Oscar. I gave him one of my peanut butter biscuits, and he let me chase him round in circles for ages until we both got dizzy. He is quite fast for a short-legged little chap, and a bit sneaky as he goes through small gaps that I can't fit into. He can also fit under the table without people noticing him, whereas I get  in trouble for that. Mmmm maybe there are benefits to being a little fellow after all.

Airedales All Day

I forgot to tell you about the supergood time I had at the Airedale fun day. I saw all my friends and some new dogs- Airedales of course!  Noah was there; he is cool. We had a picnic and we played football. Syd and I were quite good at football. I also had a go at agility. Syd was not very good at that, and to be honest. Sarah was not much better. But I was very good. I think I have a bit of a knack for it. AND I won a prize and a ribbon for being 'second fastest dog to run to my human'. The human was Syd. I think I would not have come second if the human had been Sarah........I saunter when I am going to her, and sometimes I change my mind and go somewhere else instead. I had a lot of sausages during the day, more than I would ever get at home.

Gracie was showing off at the funday. I think she is a bit too big for her boots actually. She is also 'teacher's pet'; always coming first in things.  My mum Ruby was there but she was busy (also showing off - that must be where Gracie gets it from) so I didn't talk to her much. I hung out with Diesel - he is my brother and I have not seen him since we were very small. He is a really big boy, bigger than me. I liked him a lot. I could tell we were like-minded fellows. He was more interested in girls than me, and I was more interested in food than him, but we made a good team. Neither of us was interested in coming first - that is for girls anyway.

Here is me doing agility with Syd trying to keep up (Sarah was bossing in the background).

I was so tired after our day out I slept all the way home.

We are going to have a Christmas Airedale get together again - I can't wait, BUT I am NOT dressing up. No way, not this year. I will be ONE and it is not dignified to dress up when you are ONE. Unless I can go as Robin Hood......

Rrrrrrrrats!

Today was grrrrrreat! I caught my first rat! Sarah did not think it was great. She said it was 'gross Fozzie', in a very high and screechy voice that hurt my ears. A bit like that voice she uses when she says 'SYD THERE'S A COCKROACH IN HERE'. Women.

Anyway here's how I got the RAT! I was snuffling round in the bushes where I normally find baguettes. I am not supposed to go in there. Or eat baguettes. Anyway Sarah came to find me, and I turned round to look at her........ and I had a rat in my mouth! There are a lot of rat holes in those bushes and I like to put my long nose in them. I knew I'd get lucky one day. She made a big scream, and I was so startled that I dropped the rat on the floor. Then Sarah did another scream because.....the rat was not dead! He started to wander off. This made Sarah run quite fast. It was very funny. I got put on my lead then, and we had to go home. I was in a sort of daze all the way home thinking about that rat. I had to wash out my mouth when we got home. Sarah made me have a big drink of my water until all the rat taste had gone. And then I went to sleep and had rat dreams. Brilliant. I wonder if he'll still be there tonight.....? I have a feeling we might not be going to that park tonight though.

I have referred Sarah to Wikipedia....on there it says all about rats and why we Airedale terriers like to catch them. She needs to be educated that it is OK to let Fozzie catch rats. It's in my genes to catch rats! Have a look..........

''During the middle of the nineteenth century, regular sporting events took place along the Aire River in which terriers pursued the large river rats that inhabited the area. A terrier was judged on its ability to locate a "live" hole in the riverbank and then, after the rat was driven from its hole by a ferret brought along for that purpose, the terrier would pursue the rat through water until it could make a kill. As these events became more popular, demand arose for a terrier that could excel in this activity. One such terrier was developed through judicious crossings of the Black-and-Tan Terrier and Bull and Terrier dogs popular at the time with the Otter Hound. The result was a long-legged fellow that would soon develop into the dog we recognize today as the Airedale Terrier. This character was too big to "go to ground" in the manner of the smaller working terriers; however, it was good at everything else expected of a sporting terrier, and it was particularly adept at water work. This big terrier had other talents in addition to its skill as a ratter......''

Yesterday I hung out with Syd all day. It was great. We had 'man time' and we went mooching. Mooching is when you walk around and sniff things. You stay on your lead and go past the shops, and there are a lot of people who stop and rub you. You put your nose in their shopping, especially if they've got food and you have a good sniff. And you try and trip people up by weaving in around their legs. Syd talks to a lot of people because they ask about me and what kind of dog I am and how old I am. I am a cool dog of course - and I am nearly one.  Oh yes, and then Syd has a burger, which I must not tell Sarah about. Anyway, we had fun all day but then it was spoiled of course as Sarah came home. We went to get her from the ferry. Whilst we were waiting, I heard someone say that dogs must not go on the ferry and secretly I was glad as it looked a bit wobbly on there. Mind you, if I did want to go on the ferry I would just go. Noone could stop me. We didn't go though yesterday, we got Sarah and I jumped on her white jacket with my dirty paws! You have to take your fun where you can get it. Then we went home and she made roast dinner and even though I was really tired I managed to keep my eyes open long enough to have some.

Off now for another snooze and more rat dreams. In my dreams, rats are always villains (like the Sherriff of Nottingham), and dogs (me) are always heros (like Robin Hood).  Except I don't wear tights.

Patience and Pigs Ears

I have been learning about patience. I am getting quite good at it.

I have to do patience when we go to the cafe to get coffee. I have to wait outside whilst Sarah goes in and I must not bark or try to move. I have to sit very still until she comes back. Mostly I am good at this, but sometimes people come and try and rub me and I don't like that. I don't think that people should just come up and rub you for no reason. I don't go and rub them. I am usually just minding my own business, looking at pigeons and waiting, and an old lady or a small person will come and mess with my hair. If Sarah sees them she comes out of the cafe to make sure they are not stealing me. Clayton the Groodle lives at the cafe. He is MASSIVE, I think he's the biggest dog I know. He probably gets lots of snacks living in a cafe. He is a little bit scary..

I also have to do patience when we go to the bakery. I don't mind doing it then because usually I am about to get my own new, fresh bread roll. I can do patience really well then. Sometimes I get congratulated by passers by who say that I am very obedient. The girl at the bakery said I was a 'cool dog'. Yes I am a cool dog.

I use my patience most when the S's go out to work. I don't like it if they both go out for a long time. Sometimes only Syd goes and Sarah stays at home to do work, but when they both go, I have to be patient for hours. I get bored and so I go to sleep mostly, and when I wake up they are home again. I have a special dance I do when they come home. It involves spinning around in both directions. It's a bit like my pigs ear dance. Have a look.......

Talking of pigs ears, Oscar came round once and the S's actually gave him one of MY pigs ears. I could not believe it. He just casually ate it as though it was quite normal to go to someone's house and help yourself to their snacks. What a cheek! AND he growled at me when I went a little bit close to look at him, and see if maybe he was going to save me some. I am going on holidays with Oscar soon for a weekend - he had better not do that again - I am bigger than him now! We are going away because one of his humans, Jan, is going to be 40 (old). So this means we have to go and drink a lot of wine somewhere. Anyway, just look at this for bad behaviour.......spaniels are not supposed to growl are they?

I told his humans, the J's, how naughty he'd been, it was my duty really. Oscar got his comeuppance thought when he got home and he had diarrhoea from the pigs ear. That taught him. Ha! (I didn't know what comeuppance was so I looked it up and it said it was 'just desert', but Sarah said it is something dogs get if they are naughty and do a bad thing bla bla.)

I think it's also my duty to tell everyone that Sarah has been eating cake all week. She thinks noone knows, but I have been watching. She says it's ok to eat cake when it's cold as it give you energy,and she says I can't have any because it's got chocolate in it. Well, why is it not OK for me to get double pigs ears then? I am cold too! She sits around eating cake and I just get to wear a jumper. How is that fair?? If comeuppance is a desert then she's already had hers. Kay is going to tell her how to make a liver cake for my birthday - and Sarah won't be getting one single little piece. Not a crumb. I will let Syd have some though. I wish Syd would stay home more and Sarah would go to work...... Syd and I are going to the Airedale fun day on Sunday to play soccer. I can't wait!

Cold.....

Brrrrrr today it was 2 degrees! That is VERY cold in Australian temperatures. I have been wearing my jumper all day - even to the park. Sarah is wearing 2 pairs of trousers, 3 jumpers, a scarf and ugg boots - and that's just in the house. She says houses are unacceptably cold here in Australia - there is no heating. It's true, it is warmer on the porch in the sun, than in the house. That is where I've been spending time. If I hang out on the porch long enough, sometimes Gordon next door gives me a pigs ear!

We have exciting news. We are going to be spending more time in the country. I have been told that I am getting my own wombat and maybe a kangaroo to play with. We went to the country a couple of months ago (when it was warm) and I had the best time. Well we're going to be going a lot more now and I will have a very big garden to play in. I think this will be very good. Here are some photos of where I will be spending my weekends. I am going to invite my friends to come and play with me. They had better bring their jumpers though, as it's even colder there. (ps that is not the actual house on the right, it's just a shed where Syd says he will sit to get away from Sarah, and maybe drink beer). This is the house, and my new garden!

Football is still happening but there are now no teams to follow. England went out 'in disgrace' apparently. Sarah was cross about that. I know about being 'in disgrace'. It is not a good place to be. We had a good, new thing though for the football - we had red and white balloons round the house - until last Sunday. I had not seen balloons before and at first I was scared of them, but then I got brave and chased them, and I was allowed to burst them all with my teeth after England lost. That was good fun. It will be my 1st birthday soon. I have asked for a lot of balloons and a cake all to myself. I noticed that everyone gets cake when they have a party, but they never give me any. I think I will invite my friends for a picnic and a rumble, and some cake, and to help me burst my balloons. This is me about to kill a balloon.....

Sarah has become an Australian citizen now. This means that she got a certificate, and went to the pub (that's what you have to do if you're an Australian), then came home with a furry kangaroo which Syd bought her (not a real one) and put it on the mantelpiece. I have been eyeing it and am waiting patiently for it to fall off so I can rip it up. In Australia now we've got a new prime minister who has ginger hair and is a lady (Sarah thinks this is good). I am not surprised by this - ladies are much more bossy than men so they probably know best about being prime minister and telling people (especially men) what to do all day. I didn't know that they let people with ginger hair be prime minister though. Mmmmm, maybe one day.......

World Cup Winter

Gosh I have been so busy I have not had time to write for a while. I don't know what I have been busy doing....I think mostly I've been sleeping. I seem to be quite tired now that it's always dark. And I have yet another new bed to sleep on so I have to divide up my days making sure I get a sleep on each of the beds (I don't want to wear one out).

Because it's winter apparently it is acceptable for the S's to make me wear a jumper. I would not have needed the jumper if they had left my fur alone, but for some reason they thought it was also acceptable for me to get a hair cut just as the temperature dropped 10 degrees. I quite like my jumper anyway, it is quite manly, not like some of the other things I have seen dogs being made to wear down at the park. Gordon got it for me. Thanks Gordon.

Sarah says she doesn't know what I am moaning about and if I lived in England like most of the other Airedales, it would be colder than this even in summer.

Syd doesn't speak much these days because it is 'The World Cup'. Now this could be another reason why I am a little bit tired. Syd and I have to stay up ALL NIGHT MOST NIGHTS watching 'The World Cup' on television. It is exhausting. It's very exhausting because we have to support 3 teams; Greece, England and Australia - even though all those teams are rubbish!! We are always changing our shirts depending on who is playing. Syd won't wear the England shirt though. I don't know why we don't support Brazil, I like them better. Or perhaps New Zealand because they are doing well- better than Australia actually (but I am not supposed to mention that).

It was quite good because Sarah went away when 'The World Cup' started and it meant Syd and I could just live on the sofa, and not eat vegetables, and not tidy the house. We had to do a lot of tidying just before she came back, Syd was in a panic actually and was hoovering up all our pizza crumbs and furballs. And he bought some vegetables to put them in the fridge (just for show.) But he forgot to throw away the old dead flowers in the vase that Sarah told him to throw away the day she left! Oops. Sometimes us men can't get anything right.....

I got a present from England anyway when she came back - a new dog toy, which was good and lasted me a whole day before I destroyed it. I can usually get through a new toy in 24 hours. Sarah says if anyone has a suggestion for indestructible toys please let her know. She also says thanks for the advice from you all about the bread......now what she does is she takes me my own breadroll from home to try and stop me eating the mouldy bread. I like bread better than anything, even cheese or sausage. I don't know why - I just do. It doesn't stop me eating the mouldy bread though, it just means now I get double bread!! Don't tell her!!