The S's took me to the nice lady who did my hair last time. They asked her to clip me because I was too hot and itchy. I distinctly heard Sarah say 'You don't need to do the Airedale cut, we just want him to be more comfortable in the heat'. Oh yes, and she said I should have my claws trimmed, and ears cleaned. She is so bossy. She does the same to Syd when he goes for his haircut. 'Get your nose hair and ears trimmed' she says. He rolls his eyes and we exchange knowing looks when she is giving orders. Then we both shake our heads and say 'Women' (silently).
So, they left me in the waiting room with a bald pug (scary) and a very fluffy sheepdog (hairy) and disappeared for TWO HOURS. The groomers is a bit like the vets. You go there. They do things to you. Then the S's come back and give money and take you home again. They don't have to give as much money to the groomers as they do to the vet which I think is strange because it takes 5 minutes to see the vet and HOURS are spent at the groomers..... Anyway, I digress. Back to my haircut.
Two hours is an eternity in doggy time. Lots of things can happen. Much fur can be lost. I did not want my claws trimmed, by the way. They are useful for digging holes in the front garden. As usual though, no-one asked my opinion. I would have told them that, AND I would have told them that you are not supposed to clip Airedales.
It is hard to explain what I look like now. I am sort of bald all over - I had a 'number 10' cut apparently. Everything has gone apart from my hair on top of my head and on my tail. Sarah has not stopped laughing since they picked me up. She said 'we mustn't laugh, it will hurt his feelings'. Then she started laughing again. These are some of the rude things she has said:
'He looks like he's wearing a ginger toupee'.
'He looks like a lion with a perm'.
'He looks like a 'Bedlington terrier'.
'He looks like a nanna who's just taken her curlers out'.
Syd has stared at me a lot but he has not been so rude. He did say 'He looks like George Castanza's dad from Seinfeld'. I don't know if that is good or bad. Later he said I looked like 'Skeletor' because all my eye fur has gone, but my cheeks are still furry.
So photos are banned until I get some doggy opinions on my new 'look'. I will know how bad it really is when I see Ruby and Gracie tomorrow- they will tell me straight.
This explains why there is no Aussie Fozzie photo today.
ps I thought I would let you know that Sarah drank too much wine last night. She has been so rude to me that I think it's only fair that I get my own back. They had a bbq here last night with their friends. They had steak and sausages but I did not get ANYTHING (apart from one piece of steak that was so small I could hardly see it). I spent all evening guarding the BBQ from Bodger who was sitting on his roof watching everything. I wasn't going to let HIM snag a snag when I wasn't allowed one. You can see his evil eyes glinting in the moonlight....
For any non-Aussies amongst my readers, Syd says I should explain the following:
Stubby holder = a beer holder (they taste bad)
Snag = a sausage (they taste REALLY good. If you can get one.)